California Woman Polite to her Ex, Internet Explodes

By Stacy Lee Kong

Photo: flickr.com/Walt Disney Television

Um, does anyone but me remember exactly how Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston’s breakup went down 15 years ago? Their marriage ended because he left her for Angelina Jolie? It was tabloid fodder for years? There was this whole narrative around how Jennifer didn’t want kids, so even though he did the leaving, it was still her fault?

Because collective amnesia is the only thing I can think of that would explain why the internet went apeshit over a photo of Jen and Brad backstage at the Screen Actors Guild Awards, where they were definitely smiling at one another and had maybe (maybe) clasped hands.

Photo: @marieclairemag

I mean, why else would anyone gush over a reunion between a dude who potentially cheated on his wife with his co-star and said wife, who was painted as sad and desperate by tabloid magazines like In Touch and Star back then—and who is still periodically portrayed as pathetic when those mags needs a sales boost?  

Okay, fine, yes, I suppose nostalgia could explain it. They were Hollywood’s golden couple, after all (literally—those highlights!). Also, we seem to be implicitly positioning this interaction as revenge. The Brad-Jen-Angelina narrative cast the latter as the vixenish usurper to Jennifer’s good girl next door, problematic as that characterization may be. Now, the breathless Instagram posts and swooning articles seem to imply that Jennifer is coming out on top and/or “winning” because Brad wants her back. But what is that Ginny Weasley bullshit? Maybe I have an overabundance of pride, but I am completely uninterested in the idea that if I just wait around long enough, someone who left me years ago will come to their senses and find me worthwhile again.

Jennifer deserves better than that. That breakup wasn’t just the beginning of Brangelina (which is the *worst* celebrity portmanteau, don’t @ me); it also served to ramp up the tabloids’ obsession with Jennifer, a phenomenon that is so ridiculous and problematic and long-lived that I almost can’t believe it’s a real thing. According to Willa Paskin, Slate’s staff TV writer and host of the pop culture podcast Decoder Ring, “after [Brad and Jennifer’s] divorce, these tabloids invented the character known as Sad Jen, a chronically depressed version of Jennifer who was obsessed with having a baby. She’s persisted ever since.” (See: Splinter’s tragi-comic listicle, “35 times Jennifer Aniston has been totally, definitely pregnant, according to tabloid covers.”)

To be clear, I don’t think she’s still in her feelings about Brad. It certainly looks like they’re cordial, and maybe even friends. What annoys me about this whole thing is that after their divorce, the narrative that emerged was as much about her inadequacy as it was about Brad and Angelina’s great love. And now that that relationship has also disintegrated, it feels unfair to throw Jen back into the mix, as if a) she has only been waiting for her chance  to reunite with her ex and b) Brad is some kind of great catch instead of someone who, frankly, needs her more than she needs him.

He seems well-liked and he produces movies like Okja, Selma and Moonlight, which is an excellent use of his privilege. And it’s great that he’s sober now. But his public image took a bit of a hit following his divorce from Angelina, thanks to rumours of infidelity with his Allied co-star Marion Cotillard and reports that he was “verbally abusive and physical” with the couple’s children on a flight from Nice, France to Burbank, California. (Initially, it was reported that he was under investigation for child abuse, but the FBI eventually declined to press charges.) From a PR perspective, the possibility of reconciliation with a former love, particularly someone who’s so relatable and loyal, can only help.

And I think that’s why I find this whole narrative so annoying. Why is it that every time Jennifer finds herself in the same room as Brad, the story becomes him instead of whatever she’s doing, even if what she’s doing is actually awesome? As Irish Independent columnist Caitlin McBride wrote, “For Jennifer, it should have been a night that was remembered for her long-overdue victory at finally nabbing a SAG statue for a serious performance. Instead, it will live in the collective consciousness of pop culture connoisseurs as the moment she lived every ‘scorned’ woman’s fantasy: watching your ex… realise how good they had it - while wearing haute couture Dior.”

Brad was able to escape the negative repercussions of their breakup for years, while Jennifer was plagued by condescending tabloid covers and faux sympathy. And now that she’s finally being recognized for her work instead of her personal life, he pops back up? No, thank you.

Jennifer Aniston doesn’t need to be part of Brad Pitt’s redemption story. Let homegirl enjoy her awards, great skin and all her money, yo.