Why Thirsting Over Pedro Pascal Is Actually Pretty Feminist
By Stacy Lee Kong
Image: Courtesy of Hot Docs
If you’ve spent any time at all thinking about the nature of fandom, you probably already know this but: female fandom in particular is often perceived as being about desire, sexuality and daydreams of romance, and as a result, it’s often considered less serious and more silly than male fandom. Think about the way society talks about the girls and women who love boy bands, for example. Whether it’s the Beatles, One Direction or BTS, the tone is, at best, anthropological, as if their interest and affection needs translation. At worst, it’s disparaging, as if there’s something embarrassing about their desire. This is not only offensive, it also glosses over lots of nuance (fans are not all heterosexual or cisgender, for starters).
Because female desire is worth taking seriously. And not just when it comes to boybands; there’s an entire subset of male celebrities—Internet Boyfriends, if you will—who inspire fandom, desire and truly hilarious memes, including everyone’s current fave daddy, Pedro Pascal.
In case you’ve somehow managed to avoid pop culture entirely, Pascal is a Chile-born, U.S.-raised actor who spent two decades as a character actor before landing the role of Oberyn Martell in Game of Thrones, which promptly catapulted him to sex symbol status. He followed that with roles in Narcos, The Mandalorian and The Last of Us, and as his fame grew, so did the internet’s thirst for him. And that thirst? Is totally something we should discus. In fact, on July 25, I’m going to be on a Hot Docs panel that does exactly that. As a teaser, I asked my fellow Thirst Experts (a title I will be adding to all my social media profiles immediately) to help me make the feminist case for lusting after Pedro. Here’s what they said.
Talking about women’s thirst is important, because women’s thirst is important. Who and what we desire not only indicates something about us personally, but operates within a larger context, often speaking to overarching themes in society. Historically what women desire — as an extension of what they’re interested in — has been seen as frivolous, unimportant, and just straight up not good (TL;DR: People refuse to take what women are into seriously!!!). We know this is entirely untrue; not only is women’s thirst important, but it can also be progressive and boundary pushing (romance novels, largely devoured by women, have been making small but impactful changes when it comes to diversity on the page and off ). Which makes loudly declaring, talking about and analyzing our thirst vital, as a way to push back against these *incredibly* inaccurate (and frankly misogynistic) assumptions. So yes, I will continue to be publicly horny for Jonathan Bailey as Anthony Bridgerton aggressively smelling Bridgerton’s Kate Sharma. It’s a sign of resistance, thank you very much!!
— Katherine Singh, entertainment & culture writer, Refinery29
Why Pedro? He embodies everything our cis-heteronormative, patriarchal society told us women shouldn't want and men shouldn't be—soft, caring, sensitive, considerate. Pour me a glass.
— Meaghan Wray, lifestyle and pop culture writer
For ages, girls and women have been and are shamed for having and expressing desire, whether that was fainting over the Beatles or NSYNC, or undressing your Ken dolls (ahem, like I did), or watching sports not just for the love of the game (but the butt). It’s time to free the thirst and create a safe space to feel it, discuss it and rejoice in it.
— Sadaf Ahsan, freelance arts and culture writer, and co-host of Frequency Podcasts’ The Reheat.
I find it fascinating that we are, as a society, so resistant to thinking about women’s desire. First of all, it’s just fun to discuss why we think someone’s hot, so yes, I am forever here for conversations about Pedro’s face/fashion sense/knee/love for his sister. But also, desire is such a handy way to parse the world around us. Like… what social and political things are happening right now, and how might they encourage or influence us to see a particular person as hot? (Please don’t tell me there’s no reason millions of women are lusting after a man who seems tender and safe in the year 2023.) What’s more, desire, whether romantic or sexual, is inherently political. It exposes the messages we’ve internalized about what is attractive in ourselves and others, and can be a site of tension between what we want and the values we say we hold. We’ve also been inundated with messages about what men desire for basically ever, so yes, it’s time to turn the tables and think seriously about what women think is hot. It’s only fair.
— Stacy Lee Kong, founder and editor-in-chief of Friday Things
Catch Katherine, Sadaf, Meaghan and I in conversation—and thirst—at Hot Docs Ted Rogers Cinema (506 Bloor St. W., Toronto) on July 25 at 7pm. Get your tickets at HotDocs.ca! (ALSO: Friday Things readers can get 50% off the ticket price with the code HD062350.)